Why I Created SusanSuffered.com
July 23, 2026 · 4 min read · Jonathan Loudon
Why I Created SusanSuffered.com
My mother’s name was Susan.
After she suffered a severe stroke, she lost the ability to communicate her wishes. She remained alive for approximately eight years, dependent on a feeding tube and unable to tell us what she wanted for herself.
She had a living will. We believed that meant her wishes had been addressed.
But when the situation became complicated, the document was not detailed enough to guide the decisions that had to be made. It did not clearly answer the questions our family was suddenly facing. Different people had different beliefs about what should happen, and I did not have the legal authority to make decisions on her behalf.
I believed my mother would not have wanted to continue living under those circumstances. Others responsible for her care made different choices. Without a way to hear from her, and without sufficiently clear written instructions, there was no way to know with certainty what she would have chosen.
That is a terrible position for any family to be in.
My mother suffered. The people who loved her suffered. And while a better document could not have prevented the stroke or repaired the damage it caused, clearer instructions might have reduced some of the uncertainty, conflict and helplessness that followed.
That experience stayed with me.
It eventually led me to create SusanSuffered.com, a free online app designed to help people begin documenting their wishes for future medical care.
The name is intentionally uncomfortable.
Susan suffered.
I do not want her experience to become a softened story about “difficult circumstances” or “challenging decisions.” Her suffering was real. The uncertainty surrounding her care was real. The years our family spent wondering whether her wishes were being honored were real.
SusanSuffered.com exists because a living will should be more than a document someone signs, files away and assumes will cover every possible situation. It should begin a deeper process of thinking, documenting and communicating.
What would you want if you could no longer speak?
Who should make decisions for you?
How long would you want life-sustaining treatment continued?
Would your wishes change depending on your likelihood of recovery, your awareness of your surroundings or your ability to communicate?
Do the people closest to you actually know your answers?
These are painful questions. That is precisely why they are so easy to postpone.
Most of us assume we will have more time. We imagine that we can deal with these decisions later, when we are older, sicker or somehow more prepared. But strokes, accidents and medical emergencies do not wait for a convenient moment.
By the time your family desperately needs to know what you want, you may no longer be able to tell them.
SusanSuffered.com is not intended to tell anyone which medical choices are correct. Those decisions are personal and may be shaped by a person’s values, faith, family, health and individual circumstances.
The purpose of the app is to help you make your own choices while those choices are still yours to express.
It is also meant to help you begin conversations with the people who may someday be asked to speak for you. A document matters, but so does the conversation surrounding it. The people you trust should understand not only what you selected, but why.
LoudonClear LLC is making SusanSuffered.com available free of charge. There is no subscription required and no financial barrier to getting started. I created it as a public resource because the ability to communicate your medical wishes should not depend on your income.
The app is a starting point, not a substitute for professional guidance. Advance-directive and living-will requirements vary by location, and medical situations can be complicated. I encourage users to discuss their wishes and completed documents with their families, healthcare providers and a qualified attorney when appropriate.
Most importantly, do not simply complete the process and forget about it.
Review your wishes periodically. Update them when your health, relationships or beliefs change. Make sure the right people know where your documents are. Give copies to the people who may need them. Talk openly, even when the conversation is uncomfortable.
I cannot go back and give my mother a stronger voice during the years when she could no longer speak.
What I can do is use what happened to her to help someone else prepare.
That is why I created SusanSuffered.com.
Please use it. Please share it. And please talk to the people you love before they are left to guess.
Jonathan Loudon
Founder, LoudonClear LLC